what i mean to say is this: if things don't go as planned, so be it.
everyone says that, you say? okay. okay, how to tell you and make you understand?
how about this: failure is essential. fail as much and as gloriously as you can. fail in little, seemingly inconsequential ways when no one is looking. or fail on stage, under the lights, with thousands watching. it doesn't matter where or how so long as you allow yourself the chance. because, the thing is, others might not see it as such. and given enough time, it might reveal itself as something else. and when the failure fades or passes or wears another mask it gives way to a joy so profound, it lies beyond imagination.
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that morsel of advice made me feel much better about failure. unintentionally, i've definitely allowed myself the chance to fail and i do hope that it will become something joyful. after all, we learn from mistakes and previous fails, right? but i think i'm over failing.
~ on the road of life
and a question i would very much like the answer to: what is life, and what's it about? that's what a very nice person, perhaps one of the nicest and sweetest people i know in the school, asked me when i was in a hazy fog of misery on thursday. i thought of a very shameful answer, because life seemed to be full of nothing but sadness and tears at that moment. i said it to him..and he sighed. everywhere he went, everyone said the same thing. and then he asked everyone else sitting down as well: did we not see the lights shining on everyone's faces? (corny, i know) didn't we see the blue sky stretch every so endlessly? and wasn't sitting down with good people, discussing a matter that was not materialistic in any way and so relevant to us, without any awkward silences, one of the joys of life? ...... hopefully one day i'll discover the answer to the question.
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