All hail my daily breakfast staple. Moccona has the sweetest adverts and music! =D
Sometimes all you share with someone you treasure(d) are memories. There's now a time where it's actually quite difficult to find a good topic to discuss, and mostly, only boring, incredibly dull, trivial matters are discussed. There's no longer any confiding, and if prodded, there's hesitation and divergence from the answers you seek and then you realise what's going through their minds: don't ask me, I don't want to tell you. What can you say if they don't even want to tell you? Then there's a heavy weight in your stomach and you start to feel insecure: are you insignificant, unworthy, of knowing? What's wrong, how did this happen, what are you to them? But you don't dare say the words you wish to set free. It's uncomfortable silence; if not - then awkward silence. It remains unspoken but we both know that that something no longer exists....they're moved on somewhat. That connection you share(d), the one you thought and wished would withstand everything, including time. You realise they've changed and so have you, but in a different way and you don't know their true character anymore. To make any relationship (including friendships) work, there has to be effort from both parties. The lack of effort and communication from just one party easily fuels the distance that exists between them and yourself, and with every opportunity you don't take to make it work, it continues to grow until the relationship just falls apart and all your ties are severed. It doesn't help if you are naturally emotionally distant and stable, and remain so, never revealing how you truly feel.
I'm the last to know anything these days. It's a very sad feeling knowing that :(
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