#537- Exchange here I come

PADDINGTON. urff so cute

This is it! I'm going! I feel excited yet apprehensive. Hopefully the VPN bypasses the Great Firewall - will update if it works! Keen for the next five weeks - I'm sure it will be amazeballs. Signing out for now :D

#536 - Heartbroken

By leaving all my newly brought six discounted packs of eclipse mints (stuffed in a plastic bag) in the bathroom.
And only realising half an hour later.

Fuck.

It's not that I wasted money which hurts the most. It's only twelve bucks. 

It's the quantity. SIX HEAVILY DISCOUNTED PACKS. Which could last me three months. I love these mints.

My heart broke.

TIFU

:( 

How does one go about losing mints in the bathroom? Urgh biggest derp ever.

I guess at least some lucky person found it and were delighted to find free mints *sigh*

#535 - Pretty much

Source: The Guardian

#535 - Two life lessons

今天我學會了兩件事。

第一：雖然很多人可能在我身邊，有時候還會感到很孤獨。這是我們不得不去承認的事實，不相信有人從來沒有這種感覺。
第二：我現在懂得了在這個世界上并非人人都會對你好。你知不知道我最討厭的人是誰？當一個人第一次見面我的時候，已經有人介紹我們兩個，可是跟我談談，他們沒有付出努力，一點興趣也沒有，反而不理我。雖然我已經做我最好的跟你說話，但是你就轉身或者離開我，好像以為你比我好多了，我是個小人物。這不是第一次，每一次都有同樣的結果終於讓我生氣。我知道你對別人不是這麼差，請告訴為什麼要這樣對我，好嗎？我們一句話都沒說過，你也沒有給我機會跟你說。拜託，你到底覺得你是誰？看不起我嗎？說實在的，應該看不起的是你，不但沒禮貌，而且非常不熱情。其實你不是好人，而是勢利小人，行為表示心裡不好。 有些人一直都會有差的態度，我們改不了他們的想法。算了，我真很失望，不想認識跟你一樣的人，所以如果你已經決定我是一個非常討厭的人，那你就討厭我吧，我不在乎。我們要理解在這個生并非人人都會成為朋友。無論怎麼樣，從今開始別在乎這種人，只要我一直往前走我就很幸福的。這真的是一個挺好的想法。 

不要認識好多人，有一個理解我的人就好了。

#534 - Aaaand it's already December

1. At this point in time, I don't think there's anything else I could ask for except getting a place when I'm over there. Urgh *accommodation problems*
2. I fulfilled one of my ambitions. Shocking, right? Can't believe it actually happened. Even though I still feel like hiding in my shell for a little longer, I gotta venture out and explore. And I'm really happy with the way things turned out. This is just the first step.
3. The most chilled out genre that I can actually study to/play on repeat: progressive house. Wish I listened to deadmau5 earlier. Here, here, here. You're welcome.
4. Fate, destiny or what? How can I describe the encounter between AU and Ba? It was like we knew each other in our last lifetime although we had only just met. They were so happy to open their doors to me. Despite my initial reluctance and distrust, I quickly warmed up to them. She gives off such warmth; I can only feel that they're good people and thank god it all went well because I'll probably end up needing their assistance.
5. So very thankful for the many awesome people around me who are constantly shaping the way I change, understand me and show me so much sincerity. You're all wonderful. 

Halloween/surprise birthday

Spotted: chill old lady casually doing a pull-up on the train

After successfully finishing the final oral presentation of 2014!

Talking until our throats were parched at Star Bar :')

Le hubz

Pre-Interstellar

Pappa Rich. SO GOOD. (And not spicy!)

The cool kids

Chillest house party out

Love these girls :)

Silly pose 1: Pretending to be cats(???)

Silly pose 2: Idek what we were doing. LOL

Pre-Mockingjay (PS. t'was pretty good)

This is what happens when etude house does a free shipping event. -haulALLthesheetmasks-

#533 - The people have spoken

http://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2014/nov/29/labor-wins-historic-victory-in-victorian-election-with-swing-of-more-than-3

#532 - This is what I want to do

Rekindling my teenage adoration for BLG. So old but so good.

#531 - Going, going, gone

Hiya. *like three weeks later*

Update on life: 
For almost a year, I have been saying to my parents that I would definitely be leaving them to go overseas  to improve my so-so speaking skills (and experience a new culture of course and ADVENTURE! + independently travel for the first time ever?!). My dad thought I was kidding, just saying big stuff and it wouldn't happen. Well it did. Got confirmed by uni a few days ago. 

I am going on short-term exchange!(!!!!!) :D Added all the extra exclamation marks since I can scarcely contain my excitement. Seriously keen. Extra bit of awesomeness: a friend's coming along as well so I'm not lonely either :) although I won't be sticking to P 24/7 because I'll go crazy. Just slightly annoyed that the application deadline was so late since airfare is fairly expensive now due to the close proximity between the booking date and the date of departure and seats are filling up fast. Even though the grant will help out a bit. Could be staying almost two months but to be honest, I wouldn't mind. I don't want to leave as soon as it's done. It'll be a while until I come back for the next time. We'll see how things go though. But I digress. First white Christmas? Hell yes. I must be the only person who thinks the dialect of the city people is actually really pretty and sophisticated but at least I'll be immersing myself in an environment where I'm constantly forced to speak the language. Whereas here, well, I don't think I would make a great deal of improvement to get to near-native level. I can't force it here. Hopefully I won't be scammed either. But I feel like travel is something I'm willing to spend on. Life goal: save so I can travel everywhere and visit all continents. 

And let's go off on a tangent. Let's talk politics. I know everyone has different political views. Whatever your view is, it's totally fine - you're entitled to your own opinion. Dissent is healthy and normal. But what I absolutely cannot stand or tolerate is when someone persistently forces his or her view down my throat as the supreme perspective and does their very best to obliterate and denigrate my belief into nothingness. So let's just say, I lean left. It's not like I go around to right-leaning supporters and say "You right-wing bastard. Can't understand why you believe in all their crap which they disguise as policies and their countless broken election promises." Otherwise you're just a big-time douche. With an irritating superiority complex to boot. 

Is it bad to be ambitious? I feel some disappointment that I didn't actively pursue my ambitions. Who knows what could've been? What I could've been, a year from now? What could've happened? These could've been reality, definite things - but it's not. It's just another impossible wish that isn't going to come true because of the path I decided to take. Once the chance passes you by, it's gone. You won't get another shot. I guess I'm lucky because there is another next time. I really shouldn't fear judgment. But I still do. In silly irrational things. Why can't I just be brave. I guess it's all about taking one step at a time to make yourself a better you, day by day.

And what I've discovered recently: I don't warm up to naturally cold people. Sure, they can be really nice when you get to know them but if you're always going to have a frosty and icy attitude - well, how can we ever become friends if I can never break your wall. If I was in their position, I wouldn't be icy. In what universe can that be considered welcoming and friendly? What a total contradiction to the position you've assumed. 

Something that changed my thinking forever:

"Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different..." - C.S.Lewis 

#530 - 10/10

I've been MIA from blogging for some period of time. I used to have so many pent-up feelings and things I wanted to say that just needed to be let out, written down (hello, stereotypical angsty teen!) - it was like some kind of relief. Nowadays, although I still read blogs on a daily basis, I no longer have the motivation to write a blog post. Perhaps I've fallen into a rut? Or I just feel like I have nothing meaningful to write or share? I'm unsure.

I've been plagued with a bout of bad luck ever since that June incident. Nothing good has happened since then. It's just been going downhill. Latest incident. Telling me in such an accusatory and pissy tone, blaming me for something out of my control, repeatedly asking the same questions for no good reason even when I had already said it was no longer with me. And when found out that it's actually there and has been there for goodness knows how many days and all I get is a shitty "all good, thanks" without a single apology for the shitty attitude and wrongfully accusing me all along, I really get the shits. And I feel even more pissed about the so-called big hurry, matter of extreme urgency when there's nothing for me. Why even bother? Not serious? Tell me then. We both know that there's no need to play nice anymore and try to ignore the elephant in the room. Obvious issue is obvious. It's been three weeks. Of nothing. I won't even bother anymore. I'm feeling slightly bitter, to be honest. Too old for this but yet too young for that. Such a vicious cycle to be caught up in. This will be the fourth time in such a short time that I have to do it again. I hate the process. I always end up feeling shit about myself and constantly re-evaluate my self-worth. The waiting game. And when there's absolutely nothing at all...hello, denigrated version of me. Not going to bother with it for the time being though. Just needed this rant out of my system.  For now, I'm just going to bury it deep inside my brain.

Shitty stuff aside, mid-sem break was amazingly good. As in so many awesome adventures and making brilliant memories with lovely people. Caught the reading bug again after discovering the jobs of epub. It's been four years since I last devoured books with such fervour. Now I think back, reading was my first love. I preferred books to people back in primary school and my ten-year-old self was perfectly content to hang out by myself and be absorbed in the world of Deltora. I thought the writing style of Gone Girl wasn't good and the characters were unlikeable and annoying, especially upper-class Amy (read: overrated) but YMMV. But definitely the best break by far! :)

Conception Day. WAS AWESOME. I love MQ. [PS: if confused, read this: http://www.buzzfeed.com/nicholaswray/conception-day#2i419mn]

Free double pass, yeaaa. First time seeing independent film at independent cinema. And it didn't disappoint! Got me addicted to: Starship - Nothing's Gonna Stops Us

One of the first people to dine at the pre-opening of the second Ippudo restaurant opposite UTS. *not even a food blogger on the guest list, still let in* Thanks Ken from JAM, even though we've never met! 

There's a reason behind our happy faces :) The manager came around to us halfway during our meal and told us the entire menu was free of charge. Was thinking, "Whaaat?! Did I hear right?! Free food?!" What is this blasphemy, Sydney dining is so expensive. Nothing's free. Shamelessly asked the waitress for confirmation... and she confirmed a yes. Ermahgerd, so much happiness. Turned a good dinner -> the best dinner. Shamelessly asked the chef to make a dessert after everyone else left so it was just us four patrons left in the restaurant since J & I were greedy :D. B & D were mortified and embarrassed on our behalf. Hahaha. Gladly filled out the survey and returned it to the lovely staff. Such a great night! 

 

Pre-Marquee

Spring Break! 

Shazzyy at N's bday

 Red egg! [side note: I thought I was no longer an awkward turtle but turns out, I still am one. If there's one thing I suck at big time, it's small talk. I really don't do superficial talk. If we click, we click. If we don't, we don't. That night was the most awkward I had felt in ages. So. incredibly. awkward. It was kinda unbearable for S & I. Thank god we had each other.  You'd think that being FF, we'd be close but we're not. I have no idea what we have in common except the blatantly obvious. A nice person but one I will never be close to. We're just totally different people with different lives. ]

ermahgerd. Personally, I don't care about GK since it's wanky but the second part!! :D

Cake for breakfast

HOT STAR. Finally! 1) The guy who served me was pretty rude. Saw me, ignored my existence until I had to ask him if I could get served. Where's the customer service?  2) Rude girl pushed in front of me. (Bitch.) I don't know why I didn't go off at her. And then he served her first. Dudeeee.  3) The chicken was good though! Shared between 2. 

Catch up time

Lindt Chocolate Cafe with dad, $10 waffles!

I find this adorable.

The usual public holiday yum cha with the fam @ Iron Chef

My hero/inspiration/best dad ever :)

Mum practising the art of selfies

"Let's selfie": my rents are adorable.

 Obligatory sis & me photo

Cabra has cool murals

#529- Girl Crush #heforshe

So most of you are well aware that this blog used to be where Sweet and I would rant on about issues that irk us, our pet peeves and what not. One common recurring topic would be feminism, I can proudly and unashamedly say that I am a feminist, I feel very disheartened at the stereotyping that it has undergone, detracting away from the fact that the word at it heart simply promotes equality between genders. There are so many inadvertent feminists out there (thank you) and it is about time for change. Emma Watson may just be the top girl crush of the moment with her UN speech that has unsurprisingly gone viral (you go girl!). It is just a little sad to see the negative reaction with the threats of nude photos being leaked, can we please take one step forward and not have to risk taking two steps backwards. At the very least, the rumoured photos did incite more women to come forward in support of gender equality and it did highlight how misogyny can be so entrenched as to compel some people into making women feel insecure and belittled.

Some word for thought

#528 - Roll with it

I'm really unaccustomed to my lengthy absence on the blogosphere. I don't know, I've kinda fallen into a rut with blogging after almost four years. But let's move on.
I feel like I'm liking the person I am becoming more and more with each passing day. I don't seek perfection and neither do I assume that I am this or that. There's just too much effort involved in pulling off such a fraud. I don't care that much anymore and that's a good thing.
Things have picked up since last time :) I feel at peace with myself. Thanks for the continuous rollercoaster ride you keep giving me, life. Although I will initially sit and wallow in a sorry pool of misery for a while when I'm thrown a curveball, I dare myself to move (on). [Oh Switchfoot]. And I do it. Again. And again, because in the end, I know everything will be fine. Those moments of extreme highs where I have felt so much happiness I just want to jump for joy and extreme lows - I will remember them all as something I've lived through.  This is life.

My favourite things à la Sound of Music:
1. Adventure awaits. I am so keen. More details to come :)
2. More adventure in the form of Adventure Time. I am hopelessly addicted.
3. Season 8 Doctor Who. I don't think any words can ever quite express the love I have for this.
4. Fancy tea parties - the whole shebang: English brekky (my love), fine china, cakes and quiche. All spent with the best company (R, G & S) and the one and only fluffy Shiro. I cannot wait for next time. Tea parties for dayzzz 
5. Camaraderie.
   - C people: so nice. And B? The bestest. I can never shut up and stop my incessant yapping. No judgment ever. Looking forward to many more awesome times ahead.
   - L people: awesome, awesome bunch. Enough said!
   - H people: my faves! :) 
6. Fam. Where would I be without you all?
7. Having a passion for something. And seeing that I'm getting somewhere even if it's happening at a slow pace
8. Using my own means of getting by even if it's done awkwardly. Heck yes. I did it!
9. Moar concerts!

#527- Prepare thy self

Sometimes I don't even know what I do with my time but somehow a day just seems to go by with little to no work done. Sigh. Week 7 is going to be terrible, 3 assessment task including one group assignment. I cannot wait to feast during break but then again, I've been eating too much already so I really should control myself. Sigh time to be off to see how much work I get done today and by today that includes up until 2am tomorrow.

#526 - The road ahead

Tonight I just feel emotionally drained, tired and sad.

Just because we appear this certain way to society, the world, the people around us, the people we know - it doesn't necessarily mean that this is how we really are, deep down inside us. We're not one-dimensional. We are not what we appear to be. I'm sick of this ongoing battle, being caught up in the middle, leaning towards one side but angering the other as a result. It doesn't come up often but it happens. It's inevitable.

Things are just so complicated and terrible and there's just a godawful load of misunderstandings and secrets. Are we or are we not? Shouldn't we be able to tell each other of these things? And refusals to try and make things better. Just stubbornness, bitterness and pent-up anger. And I just had to go and open my big mouth to exacerbate the situation. Since I felt infuriated on X's behalf that there was an injustice being done to X and X just can't see it because X has a heart of gold. X really does. And because of X's unwavering loyalty, love and trust to someone who really doesn't deserve it. I feel frustrated at my inability to change Y's view and make things better.

After hearing a truly shocking thing from someone I love so so much, I feel so scared for the future. I had always envisioned it to be something wonderful, something to work towards and look forwards to because as one of my most favourite and inspirational people in the world has told me many times, "the future is yours". It really is. It is what you make of it, what you do now in the present. It was the first time that I realised that that could happen and probably would. But I don't want to imagine the future like this. I don't want things to change. And then I realised, I need to get my shit together. I have completely lost sight of what was really important to me. My mind and heart have been in the wrong place all this time. I need to work so much harder and put in more effort. No matter what I do. In all aspects of life. Do my best. I may be legally classified recognised as a grown up and as an an adult. However the truth is that I haven't grown up at all. I'm still so immature and there are so many things I have yet to learn and do. But I'm glad that I realised this. This was a wake up call for me.

My view of what I should be: try to be happy-go-lucky because if shit happens, well, shit happens and life goes on. Shit did happen (it just had to, didn't it) but I'd like to think I'm handling this pretty well. And I guess that was a total contradiction from what I just wrote but sometimes I fall into the abyss of gloominess upon realising the harsh reality and that it's not always going to be rainbows and butterflies. But chin up because I can always hope.


Something that just cheers you up and restores your faith in humanity.

#525- Long road uphill

Back at uni, someone give me a valid excuse out of here. I miss my sleep, I miss spending days haphazardly without a care in the world. But sadly reality comes to knock on your door, straighten up it's time to hit the books again and join the rat race that just about everyone will succumb to. Get back into that job hunting pursuit, internship application writing and let's not forget neglecting readings and all-nighter essays/assignments/reports. Mid-semester break oh how I wish you were longer and why did you have to be so far away this semester, I earnestly look forward to your grace again.

From a disgruntled university student

#524 - Diary #2

I've been neglecting this for far too long, haven't I?
Let's get up to speed with things.

 - For the first time in forever (did you see what I did there :p) I got sick first in the fambam. And remained sick for a fairly long time - ie.turned into a major homebody for a week. Rewatching dramas & movie marathons: Star Wars VI-III (finally!), Rio 1 & 2, Thor 1 & 2, Rise of Planet of the Apes.

- Life's full of surprises. Amazing ones that suddenly come out of the blue and when you least expect it, when all hope seems to be lost. Couldn't quite believe my eyes when I read it but there it was, plain as day. It was real. I was struggling so much to contain my utter disbelief-turned-happiness, all I just wanted to do was jump around and hug everyone and share the good news. But how could I, in the midst of a bustling area? I just silently screamed "YES!" and kept smiling from ear to ear for the rest of the day :)

- Sleepover. Wow. The best sleepover I've ever had. Pigging out, snuggling to keep warm, LOTR, getting emotionally invested in K-drama parodies, rolling on the floor laughing and trying to contain our laughter during crazy ridiculous early morning prank calls, reminiscing about old times and dnms all the way until 4.30AM. Such a wonderful night. I love how although we don't always have to talk or see each other, we can just continue on from where we last left off. Very happy to have grown up with my girls :)

- Bitter & I somehow got onto the topic on the varying levels a friendship can be classified as. Just did some sleuthing through the archives and found my old post here.  I still stand by my views of three levels 2 years ago. And the funny thing is, you never quite realise the process of friendship as it happens. It's because it just happens so naturally it never occurs to you. And one day in the near future, it suddenly hits you - bam!

- This made me so excited.



- On repeat:

The movie was 10/10. Beautiful. Not another happy ending that I'd normally expect but it's a realistic portrayal of adolescence and growing up. I still sometimes feel regret for what has and what hasn't happened but the memories are there and there's nothing we can do and only one way ahead: go forward. It's truly bittersweet.

1. Maleficent was magnificient

2. Lord of the Fries (finally. Tuesdays are cheaper)

3. Pretty sky

4. Can you see the moon?

5. Sleepover selfies #1

6. Sleepover selfies #2

7. Buddies (dat double meaning)

8. Fruity life

9. With the one and only sis

10. My fave halfie

11. Angel Place

12. Bitter @ Ippudo

13. Ippudo dinner

14. 9pm Patbingsu feast @ Beauty & The Beast

 

     
                    

PS.Only just realised how frustrating it is to embed images in blogger side by side. Pls don't judge the shitty alignment, I know the images aren't all the same size - probably why I can't align properly -__-