‎If you remember me, then I don’t care if everyone else forgets.- Haruki Murakami, Kafka on the Shore



Thursday, August 11, 2011

#164 - walk straight on.

i had a bio excursion today in st james. highlights: i patted a very fluffy possum, spiky echidna, python and and baby crocodile and saw bats flying. i also went to kinokuniya and saw an english translation of 1 litre of tears there?!! brings back sad memories... =( and n2s: do not eat at maccas until a year has passed - blatantly false advertising and ridiculously expensive prices. $15.95 for a one person meal, and they advertise that as a 2 person deal = freaking joke.

onto other things, i admit i fail at historiography. i rewrote my thesis over 10 times and literally deleted thousands of words and many footnotes and i can't afford to waste anymore time on it :( aaarghhh, hip, you are such an annoying pain in the ass, because of you i am feeling really stressed/doubtful/annoyed/sad and i'm really having a hard time about extension. to pick or not to pick :(((( handing another draft to stormy tomorrow, it's around 900 words. if i screw this one up, i am just going to bs my head off - crappy ranking and mark, here i come.

something that further depresses me is chem tutoring... i have zero confidence in the final next week. the people are so beast. i'm 100% certain that they're going to get state ranks. how am i supposed to compete with great people =[ another sad thing is that i'm a loner there when i wait outside ... i know it's not really important, but i do feel awkward and stupid when it's just me by myself and there's around 15 people in their own groups, a little bit away from me. thanks to tess and ghinelli for being my only friends though, you've helped me pass the bad times in class =] "you only have to beat 7 or 8 people to stay in the top class..." can i, when i ranked so crappy and literally failed an exam ? well, i seriously doubt i can, but i'll try. something i find quite the lols is that when i literally failed, i achieved something: a new record - a top class student literally failing. i really don't deserve to be there. /end cynical rant

anyway, things to look forward to:
- 13/08: robbo's birthday outing!
- 20/08: RICE. why am i going, i am such a hypocrite (many have told me i am, so i admit that i am very hypocritical). but my ticket has already been paid for (without my permission ==), my sis is going and i feel worried for her catching the train at ~11PM by herself and i'm sort of interested in what it's going to be like. and i just found out pepper spray is illegal even for self-defense, dammit.

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