Saturday, November 29, 2014
Sunday, November 9, 2014
Tuesday, November 4, 2014
#531 - Going, going, gone
Hiya. *like three weeks later*
Update on life:
For almost a year, I have been saying to my parents that I would definitely be leaving them to go overseas to improve my so-so speaking skills (and experience a new culture of course and ADVENTURE! + independently travel for the first time ever?!). My dad thought I was kidding, just saying big stuff and it wouldn't happen. Well it did. Got confirmed by uni a few days ago.
I am going on short-term exchange!(!!!!!) :D Added all the extra exclamation marks since I can scarcely contain my excitement. Seriously keen. Extra bit of awesomeness: a friend's coming along as well so I'm not lonely either :) although I won't be sticking to P 24/7 because I'll go crazy. Just slightly annoyed that the application deadline was so late since airfare is fairly expensive now due to the close proximity between the booking date and the date of departure and seats are filling up fast. Even though the grant will help out a bit. Could be staying almost two months but to be honest, I wouldn't mind. I don't want to leave as soon as it's done. It'll be a while until I come back for the next time. We'll see how things go though. But I digress. First white Christmas? Hell yes. I must be the only person who thinks the dialect of the city people is actually really pretty and sophisticated but at least I'll be immersing myself in an environment where I'm constantly forced to speak the language. Whereas here, well, I don't think I would make a great deal of improvement to get to near-native level. I can't force it here. Hopefully I won't be scammed either. But I feel like travel is something I'm willing to spend on. Life goal: save so I can travel everywhere and visit all continents.
And let's go off on a tangent. Let's talk politics. I know everyone has different political views. Whatever your view is, it's totally fine - you're entitled to your own opinion. Dissent is healthy and normal. But what I absolutely cannot stand or tolerate is when someone persistently forces his or her view down my throat as the supreme perspective and does their very best to obliterate and denigrate my belief into nothingness. So let's just say, I lean left. It's not like I go around to right-leaning supporters and say "You right-wing bastard. Can't understand why you believe in all their crap which they disguise as policies and their countless broken election promises." Otherwise you're just a big-time douche. With an irritating superiority complex to boot.
Is it bad to be ambitious? I feel some disappointment that I didn't actively pursue my ambitions. Who knows what could've been? What I could've been, a year from now? What could've happened? These could've been reality, definite things - but it's not. It's just another impossible wish that isn't going to come true because of the path I decided to take. Once the chance passes you by, it's gone. You won't get another shot. I guess I'm lucky because there is another next time. I really shouldn't fear judgment. But I still do. In silly irrational things. Why can't I just be brave. I guess it's all about taking one step at a time to make yourself a better you, day by day.
And what I've discovered recently: I don't warm up to naturally cold people. Sure, they can be really nice when you get to know them but if you're always going to have a frosty and icy attitude - well, how can we ever become friends if I can never break your wall. If I was in their position, I wouldn't be icy. In what universe can that be considered welcoming and friendly? What a total contradiction to the position you've assumed.
Something that changed my thinking forever:
"Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different..." - C.S.Lewis
Update on life:
For almost a year, I have been saying to my parents that I would definitely be leaving them to go overseas to improve my so-so speaking skills (and experience a new culture of course and ADVENTURE! + independently travel for the first time ever?!). My dad thought I was kidding, just saying big stuff and it wouldn't happen. Well it did. Got confirmed by uni a few days ago.
I am going on short-term exchange!(!!!!!) :D Added all the extra exclamation marks since I can scarcely contain my excitement. Seriously keen. Extra bit of awesomeness: a friend's coming along as well so I'm not lonely either :) although I won't be sticking to P 24/7 because I'll go crazy. Just slightly annoyed that the application deadline was so late since airfare is fairly expensive now due to the close proximity between the booking date and the date of departure and seats are filling up fast. Even though the grant will help out a bit. Could be staying almost two months but to be honest, I wouldn't mind. I don't want to leave as soon as it's done. It'll be a while until I come back for the next time. We'll see how things go though. But I digress. First white Christmas? Hell yes. I must be the only person who thinks the dialect of the city people is actually really pretty and sophisticated but at least I'll be immersing myself in an environment where I'm constantly forced to speak the language. Whereas here, well, I don't think I would make a great deal of improvement to get to near-native level. I can't force it here. Hopefully I won't be scammed either. But I feel like travel is something I'm willing to spend on. Life goal: save so I can travel everywhere and visit all continents.
And let's go off on a tangent. Let's talk politics. I know everyone has different political views. Whatever your view is, it's totally fine - you're entitled to your own opinion. Dissent is healthy and normal. But what I absolutely cannot stand or tolerate is when someone persistently forces his or her view down my throat as the supreme perspective and does their very best to obliterate and denigrate my belief into nothingness. So let's just say, I lean left. It's not like I go around to right-leaning supporters and say "You right-wing bastard. Can't understand why you believe in all their crap which they disguise as policies and their countless broken election promises." Otherwise you're just a big-time douche. With an irritating superiority complex to boot.
Is it bad to be ambitious? I feel some disappointment that I didn't actively pursue my ambitions. Who knows what could've been? What I could've been, a year from now? What could've happened? These could've been reality, definite things - but it's not. It's just another impossible wish that isn't going to come true because of the path I decided to take. Once the chance passes you by, it's gone. You won't get another shot. I guess I'm lucky because there is another next time. I really shouldn't fear judgment. But I still do. In silly irrational things. Why can't I just be brave. I guess it's all about taking one step at a time to make yourself a better you, day by day.
And what I've discovered recently: I don't warm up to naturally cold people. Sure, they can be really nice when you get to know them but if you're always going to have a frosty and icy attitude - well, how can we ever become friends if I can never break your wall. If I was in their position, I wouldn't be icy. In what universe can that be considered welcoming and friendly? What a total contradiction to the position you've assumed.
Something that changed my thinking forever:
"Isn't it funny how day by day nothing changes, but when you look back, everything is different..." - C.S.Lewis
Friday, October 10, 2014
#530 - 10/10
I've been MIA from blogging for some period of time. I used to have so many pent-up feelings and things I wanted to say that just needed to be let out, written down (hello, stereotypical angsty teen!) - it was like some kind of relief. Nowadays, although I still read blogs on a daily basis, I no longer have the motivation to write a blog post. Perhaps I've fallen into a rut? Or I just feel like I have nothing meaningful to write or share? I'm unsure.
I've been plagued with a bout of bad luck ever since that June incident. Nothing good has happened since then. It's just been going downhill. Latest incident. Telling me in such an accusatory and pissy tone, blaming me for something out of my control, repeatedly asking the same questions for no good reason even when I had already said it was no longer with me. And when found out that it's actually there and has been there for goodness knows how many days and all I get is a shitty "all good, thanks" without a single apology for the shitty attitude and wrongfully accusing me all along, I really get the shits. And I feel even more pissed about the so-called big hurry, matter of extreme urgency when there's nothing for me. Why even bother? Not serious? Tell me then. We both know that there's no need to play nice anymore and try to ignore the elephant in the room. Obvious issue is obvious. It's been three weeks. Of nothing. I won't even bother anymore. I'm feeling slightly bitter, to be honest. Too old for this but yet too young for that. Such a vicious cycle to be caught up in. This will be the fourth time in such a short time that I have to do it again. I hate the process. I always end up feeling shit about myself and constantly re-evaluate my self-worth. The waiting game. And when there's absolutely nothing at all...hello, denigrated version of me. Not going to bother with it for the time being though. Just needed this rant out of my system. For now, I'm just going to bury it deep inside my brain.
Shitty stuff aside, mid-sem break was amazingly good. As in so many awesome adventures and making brilliant memories with lovely people. Caught the reading bug again after discovering the jobs of epub. It's been four years since I last devoured books with such fervour. Now I think back, reading was my first love. I preferred books to people back in primary school and my ten-year-old self was perfectly content to hang out by myself and be absorbed in the world of Deltora. I thought the writing style of Gone Girl wasn't good and the characters were unlikeable and annoying, especially upper-class Amy (read: overrated) but YMMV. But definitely the best break by far! :)
I've been plagued with a bout of bad luck ever since that June incident. Nothing good has happened since then. It's just been going downhill. Latest incident. Telling me in such an accusatory and pissy tone, blaming me for something out of my control, repeatedly asking the same questions for no good reason even when I had already said it was no longer with me. And when found out that it's actually there and has been there for goodness knows how many days and all I get is a shitty "all good, thanks" without a single apology for the shitty attitude and wrongfully accusing me all along, I really get the shits. And I feel even more pissed about the so-called big hurry, matter of extreme urgency when there's nothing for me. Why even bother? Not serious? Tell me then. We both know that there's no need to play nice anymore and try to ignore the elephant in the room. Obvious issue is obvious. It's been three weeks. Of nothing. I won't even bother anymore. I'm feeling slightly bitter, to be honest. Too old for this but yet too young for that. Such a vicious cycle to be caught up in. This will be the fourth time in such a short time that I have to do it again. I hate the process. I always end up feeling shit about myself and constantly re-evaluate my self-worth. The waiting game. And when there's absolutely nothing at all...hello, denigrated version of me. Not going to bother with it for the time being though. Just needed this rant out of my system. For now, I'm just going to bury it deep inside my brain.
Shitty stuff aside, mid-sem break was amazingly good. As in so many awesome adventures and making brilliant memories with lovely people. Caught the reading bug again after discovering the jobs of epub. It's been four years since I last devoured books with such fervour. Now I think back, reading was my first love. I preferred books to people back in primary school and my ten-year-old self was perfectly content to hang out by myself and be absorbed in the world of Deltora. I thought the writing style of Gone Girl wasn't good and the characters were unlikeable and annoying, especially upper-class Amy (read: overrated) but YMMV. But definitely the best break by far! :)
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| Conception Day. WAS AWESOME. I love MQ. [PS: if confused, read this: http://www.buzzfeed.com/nicholaswray/conception-day#2i419mn] |
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| Free double pass, yeaaa. First time seeing independent film at independent cinema. And it didn't disappoint! Got me addicted to: Starship - Nothing's Gonna Stops Us |
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| One of the first people to dine at the pre-opening of the second Ippudo restaurant opposite UTS. *not even a food blogger on the guest list, still let in* Thanks Ken from JAM, even though we've never met! |
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| There's a reason behind our happy faces :) The manager came around to us halfway during our meal and told us the entire menu was free of charge. Was thinking, "Whaaat?! Did I hear right?! Free food?!" What is this blasphemy, Sydney dining is so expensive. Nothing's free. Shamelessly asked the waitress for confirmation... and she confirmed a yes. Ermahgerd, so much happiness. Turned a good dinner -> the best dinner. Shamelessly asked the chef to make a dessert after everyone else left so it was just us four patrons left in the restaurant since J & I were greedy :D. B & D were mortified and embarrassed on our behalf. Hahaha. Gladly filled out the survey and returned it to the lovely staff. Such a great night! |
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| Pre-Marquee |
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| Spring Break! |
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| Shazzyy at N's bday |
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| Red egg! [side note: I thought I was no longer an awkward turtle but turns out, I still am one. If there's one thing I suck at big time, it's small talk. I really don't do superficial talk. If we click, we click. If we don't, we don't. That night was the most awkward I had felt in ages. So. incredibly. awkward. It was kinda unbearable for S & I. Thank god we had each other. You'd think that being FF, we'd be close but we're not. I have no idea what we have in common except the blatantly obvious. A nice person but one I will never be close to. We're just totally different people with different lives. ] |
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| ermahgerd. Personally, I don't care about GK since it's wanky but the second part!! :D |
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| Cake for breakfast |
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| HOT STAR. Finally! 1) The guy who served me was pretty rude. Saw me, ignored my existence until I had to ask him if I could get served. Where's the customer service? 2) Rude girl pushed in front of me. (Bitch.) I don't know why I didn't go off at her. And then he served her first. Dudeeee. 3) The chicken was good though! Shared between 2. |
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| Catch up time |
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| Lindt Chocolate Cafe with dad, $10 waffles! |
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| I find this adorable. |
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| The usual public holiday yum cha with the fam @ Iron Chef |
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| My hero/inspiration/best dad ever :) |
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| Mum practising the art of selfies |
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| "Let's selfie": my rents are adorable. |
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| Obligatory sis & me photo |
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| Cabra has cool murals |
Friday, September 26, 2014
#529- Girl Crush #heforshe
So most of you are well aware that this blog used to be where Sweet and I would rant on about issues that irk us, our pet peeves and what not. One common recurring topic would be feminism, I can proudly and unashamedly say that I am a feminist, I feel very disheartened at the stereotyping that it has undergone, detracting away from the fact that the word at it heart simply promotes equality between genders. There are so many inadvertent feminists out there (thank you) and it is about time for change. Emma Watson may just be the top girl crush of the moment with her UN speech that has unsurprisingly gone viral (you go girl!). It is just a little sad to see the negative reaction with the threats of nude photos being leaked, can we please take one step forward and not have to risk taking two steps backwards. At the very least, the rumoured photos did incite more women to come forward in support of gender equality and it did highlight how misogyny can be so entrenched as to compel some people into making women feel insecure and belittled.
Some word for thought
Some word for thought
Monday, September 15, 2014
#528 - Roll with it
I'm really unaccustomed to my lengthy absence on the blogosphere. I don't know, I've kinda fallen into a rut with blogging after almost four years. But let's move on.
I feel like I'm liking the person I am becoming more and more with each passing day. I don't seek perfection and neither do I assume that I am this or that. There's just too much effort involved in pulling off such a fraud. I don't care that much anymore and that's a good thing.
Things have picked up since last time :) I feel at peace with myself. Thanks for the continuous rollercoaster ride you keep giving me, life. Although I will initially sit and wallow in a sorry pool of misery for a while when I'm thrown a curveball, I dare myself to move (on). [Oh Switchfoot]. And I do it. Again. And again, because in the end, I know everything will be fine. Those moments of extreme highs where I have felt so much happiness I just want to jump for joy and extreme lows - I will remember them all as something I've lived through. This is life.
My favourite things à la Sound of Music:
1. Adventure awaits. I am so keen. More details to come :)
2. More adventure in the form of Adventure Time. I am hopelessly addicted.
3. Season 8 Doctor Who. I don't think any words can ever quite express the love I have for this.
4. Fancy tea parties - the whole shebang: English brekky (my love), fine china, cakes and quiche. All spent with the best company (R, G & S) and the one and only fluffy Shiro. I cannot wait for next time. Tea parties for dayzzz
5. Camaraderie.
- C people: so nice. And B? The bestest. I can never shut up and stop my incessant yapping. No judgment ever. Looking forward to many more awesome times ahead.
- L people: awesome, awesome bunch. Enough said!
- H people: my faves! :)
6. Fam. Where would I be without you all?
7. Having a passion for something. And seeing that I'm getting somewhere even if it's happening at a slow pace
8. Using my own means of getting by even if it's done awkwardly. Heck yes. I did it!
9. Moar concerts!
I feel like I'm liking the person I am becoming more and more with each passing day. I don't seek perfection and neither do I assume that I am this or that. There's just too much effort involved in pulling off such a fraud. I don't care that much anymore and that's a good thing.
Things have picked up since last time :) I feel at peace with myself. Thanks for the continuous rollercoaster ride you keep giving me, life. Although I will initially sit and wallow in a sorry pool of misery for a while when I'm thrown a curveball, I dare myself to move (on). [Oh Switchfoot]. And I do it. Again. And again, because in the end, I know everything will be fine. Those moments of extreme highs where I have felt so much happiness I just want to jump for joy and extreme lows - I will remember them all as something I've lived through. This is life.
My favourite things à la Sound of Music:
1. Adventure awaits. I am so keen. More details to come :)
2. More adventure in the form of Adventure Time. I am hopelessly addicted.
3. Season 8 Doctor Who. I don't think any words can ever quite express the love I have for this.
4. Fancy tea parties - the whole shebang: English brekky (my love), fine china, cakes and quiche. All spent with the best company (R, G & S) and the one and only fluffy Shiro. I cannot wait for next time. Tea parties for dayzzz
5. Camaraderie.
- C people: so nice. And B? The bestest. I can never shut up and stop my incessant yapping. No judgment ever. Looking forward to many more awesome times ahead.
- L people: awesome, awesome bunch. Enough said!
- H people: my faves! :)
6. Fam. Where would I be without you all?
7. Having a passion for something. And seeing that I'm getting somewhere even if it's happening at a slow pace
8. Using my own means of getting by even if it's done awkwardly. Heck yes. I did it!
9. Moar concerts!
Saturday, August 30, 2014
#527- Prepare thy self
Sometimes I don't even know what I do with my time but somehow a day just seems to go by with little to no work done. Sigh. Week 7 is going to be terrible, 3 assessment task including one group assignment. I cannot wait to feast during break but then again, I've been eating too much already so I really should control myself. Sigh time to be off to see how much work I get done today and by today that includes up until 2am tomorrow.
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