I feel like I'm walking on eggshells and trying so hard so you don't hold an unfavourable opinion on me. I don't even know why I care so much about what you think of me when I don't really care what others think. I'm trying my best but even now, you're unreadable. Out of everyone else, I want to impress you the most and not disappoint you in any way. What the heck? I don't get myself either. I have no reason to place you on a higher pedestal. I can't tell if you think I'm just not good at all or just okay. I feel like I'm making mistakes all the time. Stoic personalities and me are a no-go.
Sunday, February 22, 2015
#539 - Current Jam
I couldn't give a damn about the movie but this song is good. And catchy.
Lady A, stop making me love you even more.
Got back into this after singing our hearts out to this at karaoke this week. Taylor is on point, enough said.
I dig this too.
Getting festival-ready with this.
Oldie but a goldie. New album ain't got nothing on his older songs
I feel so much more lighthearted and cheerful after listening to this. And its title is cute too: When I met you, all the stars fell on the top of my head.
Lady A, stop making me love you even more.
Got back into this after singing our hearts out to this at karaoke this week. Taylor is on point, enough said.
I dig this too.
Getting festival-ready with this.
Oldie but a goldie. New album ain't got nothing on his older songs
I feel so much more lighthearted and cheerful after listening to this. And its title is cute too: When I met you, all the stars fell on the top of my head.
Wednesday, February 18, 2015
#538 - Nepotism
I know I've been MIA lately. I've just been too lazy to blog! But I'm back again and unsurprisingly, my first post since coming back isn't about how awesome exchange was (don't get me wrong, it was absolutely bloody fantastic and all kinds of crazy wonderful, I would 11/10 recommend and do it again in a heartbeat) but about nepotism. It's the kind of topic that gets me all fired up and ready to write a rant-y blogpost after two months (have I even grown up at all? I feel like I'm still experiencing spontaneous teenage bouts of angst).
Okay. So nepotism is just an unavoidable concept in modern society, no? It's not what you know but who you know. Connections are vital to survive in the harsh job market. If you've practically zero connections like me or do not know people in high-up positions, well it's pretty shitty for you. Doom and gloom, I'll say. Nothing ticks me off as much as nepotism in the job market. For example, I've been trying to break into retail for over a year and the sad fact is that it's near impossible. And it's such a vicious cycle because they will never ever give you a shot even if you have experience in other service-related areas. The only sure-fire way to land a job in the retail industry is to know someone. Well aren't I just too unfortunate because I don't know anyone!
I just recently attended an interview where I kind of knew the interviewer (let's call him X) and he was also aware of my existence before I applied for the position. It was a very strange interview in the sense that X spent the majority of the interview introducing job requirements and the job description and only asked me two personal questions. No stupid psychological type of questions that are a personal favourite of HR recruiters, thank goodness. Towards the end of the interview, he tells me "No harsh feelings if you don't get this, okay?" I'd like to think of myself as laid back and going-with-the-flow so I say of course because deep down, I'm not going to be that butt-hurt. I've survived some rejections but have also been successful at times. In life, you win some and you lose some. Well today, I find out that I wasn't successful and I got a list of reasons for my rejection. But what ticks me off is that all the reasons are given are just a facade of niceties without a single inkling of truth; it's all bullshit. The real reason is nepotism.
A person my age, doing the same degree as me, with the same availability (and I am surprised I haven't come across this person yet!) gets the job because he's the interviewer's boss' son's friend whereas I don't because I don't have any relevant connections even though I have probably more qualifications and experience than him? Well I'd like to heartily salute the interviewer with the middle finger for toadying to his higher-up and just being an asshat in general who says one thing but does another. And another person gets the same position when they're essentially also a full-time student like me except their relative is a senior manager or some fancy titled so-and-so? What happened to merit? Fairness? Urgh. I'm grateful that there are still kind-hearted decent people in the world like B (who I've only met once!) for offering to take my resume and other things up to someone higher than X but that wouldn't work out in practice since it would be an usurpation of X's authority. Awkward. And it's not the right thing to do.
When I say others are fortunate in the job industry, having easily attained positions with ease, I mean it. I'm envious actually and have drooled over many people's work history on Linkedin. Could that ever be me one day? For me, it's just a matter of keep trying, keep trying, don't give up - eventually, someone will take a chance on me and find out I'm actually okay and I am capable of doing the job. I've job hunted so much that cover letters no longer feel like they're something too difficult to write anymore and not getting a reply is OK. I move on and don't let it get to me. I'm not going to let this latest rejection get to me either. I'm just going to keep trying, don't give up and I know something good will happen. Not sure when but I know it will occur.
Okay. So nepotism is just an unavoidable concept in modern society, no? It's not what you know but who you know. Connections are vital to survive in the harsh job market. If you've practically zero connections like me or do not know people in high-up positions, well it's pretty shitty for you. Doom and gloom, I'll say. Nothing ticks me off as much as nepotism in the job market. For example, I've been trying to break into retail for over a year and the sad fact is that it's near impossible. And it's such a vicious cycle because they will never ever give you a shot even if you have experience in other service-related areas. The only sure-fire way to land a job in the retail industry is to know someone. Well aren't I just too unfortunate because I don't know anyone!
I just recently attended an interview where I kind of knew the interviewer (let's call him X) and he was also aware of my existence before I applied for the position. It was a very strange interview in the sense that X spent the majority of the interview introducing job requirements and the job description and only asked me two personal questions. No stupid psychological type of questions that are a personal favourite of HR recruiters, thank goodness. Towards the end of the interview, he tells me "No harsh feelings if you don't get this, okay?" I'd like to think of myself as laid back and going-with-the-flow so I say of course because deep down, I'm not going to be that butt-hurt. I've survived some rejections but have also been successful at times. In life, you win some and you lose some. Well today, I find out that I wasn't successful and I got a list of reasons for my rejection. But what ticks me off is that all the reasons are given are just a facade of niceties without a single inkling of truth; it's all bullshit. The real reason is nepotism.
A person my age, doing the same degree as me, with the same availability (and I am surprised I haven't come across this person yet!) gets the job because he's the interviewer's boss' son's friend whereas I don't because I don't have any relevant connections even though I have probably more qualifications and experience than him? Well I'd like to heartily salute the interviewer with the middle finger for toadying to his higher-up and just being an asshat in general who says one thing but does another. And another person gets the same position when they're essentially also a full-time student like me except their relative is a senior manager or some fancy titled so-and-so? What happened to merit? Fairness? Urgh. I'm grateful that there are still kind-hearted decent people in the world like B (who I've only met once!) for offering to take my resume and other things up to someone higher than X but that wouldn't work out in practice since it would be an usurpation of X's authority. Awkward. And it's not the right thing to do.
When I say others are fortunate in the job industry, having easily attained positions with ease, I mean it. I'm envious actually and have drooled over many people's work history on Linkedin. Could that ever be me one day? For me, it's just a matter of keep trying, keep trying, don't give up - eventually, someone will take a chance on me and find out I'm actually okay and I am capable of doing the job. I've job hunted so much that cover letters no longer feel like they're something too difficult to write anymore and not getting a reply is OK. I move on and don't let it get to me. I'm not going to let this latest rejection get to me either. I'm just going to keep trying, don't give up and I know something good will happen. Not sure when but I know it will occur.
Sunday, December 14, 2014
#537- Exchange here I come
 |
 |
| PADDINGTON. urff so cute |
This is it! I'm going! I feel excited yet apprehensive. Hopefully the VPN bypasses the Great Firewall - will update if it works! Keen for the next five weeks - I'm sure it will be amazeballs. Signing out for now :D
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
#536 - Heartbroken
By leaving all my newly brought six discounted packs of eclipse mints (stuffed in a plastic bag) in the bathroom.
And only realising half an hour later.
And only realising half an hour later.
Fuck.
It's not that I wasted money which hurts the most. It's only twelve bucks.
It's the quantity. SIX HEAVILY DISCOUNTED PACKS. Which could last me three months. I love these mints.
My heart broke.
TIFU
:(
How does one go about losing mints in the bathroom? Urgh biggest derp ever.
I guess at least some lucky person found it and were delighted to find free mints *sigh*
Saturday, December 6, 2014
#535 - Two life lessons
今天我學會了兩件事。
第一：雖然很多人可能在我身邊，有時候還會感到很孤獨。這是我們不得不去承認的事實，不相信有人從來沒有這種感覺。
第二：我現在懂得了在這個世界上并非人人都會對你好。你知不知道我最討厭的人是誰？當一個人第一次見面我的時候，已經有人介紹我們兩個，可是跟我談談，他們沒有付出努力，一點興趣也沒有，反而不理我。雖然我已經做我最好的跟你說話，但是你就轉身或者離開我，好像以為你比我好多了，我是個小人物。這不是第一次，每一次都有同樣的結果終於讓我生氣。我知道你對別人不是這麼差，請告訴為什麼要這樣對我，好嗎？我們一句話都沒說過，你也沒有給我機會跟你說。拜託，你到底覺得你是誰？看不起我嗎？說實在的，應該看不起的是你，不但沒禮貌，而且非常不熱情。其實你不是好人，而是勢利小人，行為表示心裡不好。 有些人一直都會有差的態度，我們改不了他們的想法。算了，我真很失望，不想認識跟你一樣的人，所以如果你已經決定我是一個非常討厭的人，那你就討厭我吧，我不在乎。我們要理解在這個生并非人人都會成為朋友。無論怎麼樣，從今開始別在乎這種人，只要我一直往前走我就很幸福的。這真的是一個挺好的想法。
第一：雖然很多人可能在我身邊，有時候還會感到很孤獨。這是我們不得不去承認的事實，不相信有人從來沒有這種感覺。
第二：我現在懂得了在這個世界上并非人人都會對你好。你知不知道我最討厭的人是誰？當一個人第一次見面我的時候，已經有人介紹我們兩個，可是跟我談談，他們沒有付出努力，一點興趣也沒有，反而不理我。雖然我已經做我最好的跟你說話，但是你就轉身或者離開我，好像以為你比我好多了，我是個小人物。這不是第一次，每一次都有同樣的結果終於讓我生氣。我知道你對別人不是這麼差，請告訴為什麼要這樣對我，好嗎？我們一句話都沒說過，你也沒有給我機會跟你說。拜託，你到底覺得你是誰？看不起我嗎？說實在的，應該看不起的是你，不但沒禮貌，而且非常不熱情。其實你不是好人，而是勢利小人，行為表示心裡不好。 有些人一直都會有差的態度，我們改不了他們的想法。算了，我真很失望，不想認識跟你一樣的人，所以如果你已經決定我是一個非常討厭的人，那你就討厭我吧，我不在乎。我們要理解在這個生并非人人都會成為朋友。無論怎麼樣，從今開始別在乎這種人，只要我一直往前走我就很幸福的。這真的是一個挺好的想法。
不要認識好多人，有一個理解我的人就好了。
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